“The next Friday, I arrived at work with a mission. I would send an email to the entire company to order burritos, but I would make sure my email was better than the dull kebab email. I would make it funny. Yes, I would mock the kebab folks.”

“Most people don’t even know they ate their twin. Their parents never think to tell them. I’ve discovered that there is an epidemic of twin eaters on the comedy circuit: Roger O’Sullivan, Katie Norris, and Ted Hill to name and shame them.”

“As soon as a rung is climbed, you have to start the process again, explaining to a fresh underling who you are, what you want and what you need. Each of them has the power, if they wish, to delay the process by weeks or months either through their own inaction or deliberate ill will.”

“They say it’s human nature to make mistakes... and to not want to apologise for them. Because apologising sucks and should be avoided at all costs.”

“I now work as a teaching assistant in a primary school. Initially, I was hoping I would only do it for a month before getting rescued by the chance to be on a panel show I had never heard of. After about a week at this job, I began to enjoy my new sense of responsibility and it helps that I seem to actually be good at this.”

‘I’ve always been drawn to medieval female mystics. They’re all just queer-coded undiagnosed neurodivergent weirdos who dodged their social responsibilities by answering a higher calling. What’s not to love!”

“Most people are standing in the way of their own power. Often because they stop to question whether power is really what’s going to make them happy. Don’t make that mistake. Follow these steps to use confidence to gain and exploit trust for your own advantage.”

“Fundamentally, it’s like I always say: stop stepping in dog mess, and start stepping into your power. And you’d do well to remember it could always be worse.”

“I've spent the last few thousand years circulating among royalty, aristocrats, artists, poets and assorted public nuisances. I've attended their banquets, survived their scandals, witnessed their affairs and, in one regrettable case, briefly married one of them.”

“Power doesn't always have to come from wealth, status or influence, sometimes it can come from everyday moments. Here are five ways you can take it.”

Take Amy Matthews’ flowchart to find out your female rage spirit animal

“He’s starting to cry. It’s working. He has crumpled down to the floor, head in his hands. Slowly prise the hands from his face and whisper shhhhhhh. Do a downward dog, and look at him between your legs. Smile. Sneeze. Wait.”

“While being interrupted in an unglamorous bathroom moment is embarrassing, it’s perhaps an overreaction to turn into a flying reptile.”