Power

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Power 〰️

The Edinburgh Fringe is back for 2026, and with it, our annual feature series! This year, we’re taking on POWER: Who’s got it? Where is it? Where should it be? How do you get it? Our comedians are the only ones with the answers.

By Fab Goualin

It’s 2026 and let’s face it, things are a bit shit aren’t they? In the UK, we’re experiencing the patchiest summer since records began, fuel prices are through the roof (mad that you find yourself caring about this when you don’t actually have a car) and a Fredo now costs more than 30p. It's hard to stay positive. Harder still to feel in control. Most of us drift through life at the mercy of events, circumstances and whichever dickhead you’re sat next to on an overpriced Ryanair flight for a holiday you’ll be paying off for the rest of the year. But power doesn't always have to come from wealth, status or influence, sometimes it can come from everyday moments. Here are five ways you can take it:

1. The Coffee Shop Conundrum

You're in a café you've never been to and you're about to be served by a barista with an attitude problem. Spot their name badge, greet them by that name, then follow up with "nice to see you, long time no see". They won't remember where they know you from, because they don't know you. While they're mentally scrolling through every period of their life from nursery to the present day, you'll have shifted the power balance, gaining you a moderately better hot drink and somewhat elevated service. Not the most vast of rewards, but real power is seldom won in a single battle.

2. Train Seat Treachery

It’s rush hour on the [insert geographically relevant train name/line/service], you’ve managed to get one of the few available seats and there’s a bunch of losers on their feet trying to act like they wouldn’t rather be anywhere else in the world than where they are right now. Look for a commuter to offer your seat to but choose wisely. They should be relatively young and fit, but old enough for that offer to spur a brief and unwelcome review of their appearance and life decisions. They'll politely refuse, but everyone nearby will have seen your magnanimous offer. For a moment, you won't just be a passenger. You'll be a benevolent ruler, secure enough in your power to give away the throne you had no intention of vacating. Better still the person who you’ve inadvertently insulted (at least in their mind) won’t be able to express their disapproval because to them, you were just being nice. That’s more than power, that’s psychological colonisation.

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3. The [insert appropriate professional chat/video calling service] Meeting Swindle

You're on a conference call, organised and due to be led by a more senior colleague. A couple of minutes after the scheduled start time, a number of attendees are yet to join.

This is your moment. Ask the question: "shall we give it another minute?"

You have absolutely no authority to make such a decision, but nobody will challenge it. The meeting now exists in a strange interregnum (yes I have access to a thesaurus) where you've assumed temporary control. Will this sort of thing lead to a promotion? Almost certainly not. But in a short glorious window before the organiser begins speaking, you'll know what power really feels like.

4. Silent Intimidation

You’re using one of the machines at the gym and someone asks you how many reps you’ve got left. Firstly, who do they think they are? You’ll be done when you’re done. You’re a polite person though, so you’ll tell them. But keep an eye on them as you finish your final rep. When they’re not looking, quietly move the pin up three or four weight increments. Nothing ridiculous. You don’t want them to smell a rat. When they bend over to inspect the stack, they'll be forced to consider the possibility that you are indeed superior to them, in ways maybe even beyond physical strength. They’ll never ask you how many reps you’ve got left ever again.

5. The Phantom Fifth

There is no fifth way, but since the beginning of this piece, I’ve led you into thinking there was, which has made me feel more powerful whilst getting one over on you. Is this because I couldn’t come up with a fifth one? Maybe. But you’ll never really know will you? You even read the title ‘The Phantom Fifth’ and continued reading. You’re still reading now for goodness sake.

Fab Goualin: Mixed Messages is running at Gilded Balloon Teviot (Wee Room) from Aug 5-30th (except 18th), 17:40. Tickets here

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