Zoe Wohlfeld: 10 Reasons to Buy Everyone at the Bar a Shot
Power
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Power 〰️
Image: Marissa Moorhead
The Edinburgh Fringe is back for 2026, and with it, our annual feature series! This year, we’re taking on POWER: Who’s got it? Where is it? Where should it be? How do you get it? Our comedians are the only ones with the answers.
By Zoe Wohlfeld
1. You found a credit card on Cowgate
And it’s one of those heavy black ones!
2. To promote your Fortified Pinot Grigio brand
Move over Brandy and Sherry, there’s a new girl in town and her name is Brooke™!
3. It’s 11am and you’re the only one at the bar
You’re feeling generous today, make it a double ;)
4. To inspire loyalty
It’s a little known fact, but this is why dogs are so loyal to their owners. Every time a dog is adopted, their new owner brings them to a bar and buys them a shot (preferably of Brookes™)
5. Your hen do wrecked the vibe
And from this night forth, it is declared that every hen or stag do that parades into the bar must offer the punters a shot (and also a sincere apology).
6. You fear you are in the presence of traitors
You’re not exactly sure who they are so you put poison in every shot to make sure the threat is eliminated.
7. You’re the former Duke of York trying to have a quiet night out
Your bar tab comes to £16 million.
8. You’ve already had 3 glasses of Pinot and 5 Brookes™ and you have no idea what you’re doing!
Whoops!
9. You must prepare the men for battle
Some bitch just came in with her brand of Fortified Chardonnay (Ashley™). You cannot let this stand.
10. Family money
Zoe Wohlfeld: Dog Funeral is running at Underbelly Cowgate (Jelly Belly) from Aug 5-30th (except 17th) at 17:15. Tickets here
Read more about Edinburgh Fringe 2026:
