Power

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Power 〰️

The Edinburgh Fringe is back for 2026, and with it, our annual feature series! This year, we’re taking on POWER: Who’s got it? Where is it? Where should it be? How do you get it? Our comedians are the only ones with the answers.

By Anna Leong Brophy

Congratulations! If you have received this pamphlet, you have qualified for executive membership in the Patriarchy: a fun-loving group of likeminded individuals intent on ruling the world for all time! Soon you will be sent your full Patriarchy Pack, including Manosphere: The Collected Works and Adam and Eve 101, but here are some simple rules to reach for whenever you need to stop being a pussy, man up and grow a pair!

Keep the Percentages in our Favour

Men get paid 30% more than women. They speak more than 70% of all dialogue in movies. Women do more than 75% of all the world’s unpaid care and domestic work. We can all agree – these numbers could be MUCH higher. There’s so much more work to do! According to the UN, nearly 90% of people globally harbour at least one bias against women. Our organisation is working hard to make that number 100% by the year 2030. Dare to dream!

Embrace Generational Trauma

Your forefathers fought wars for that trauma! For god’s sake, don’t dissipate it by getting therapy or listening to Perfume Genius. Like a priceless Patek Philippe watch, fragile masculinity and emotional constipation is yours to protect and pass on to your male heirs, as you greet them with a firm handshake on the day of their birth.

Make Movies

Sure, sometimes women have to be in movies. But if we’re writing, producing and directing them, technically, they’re just a mouthpiece for the Cause! It’s all in the marketing. For example, is James Bond an overdressed alcoholic murderer, unable to follow simple workplace instructions and statistically speaking, the most deadly Sexually Transmitted Disease known to womankind? No! He’s a cool sexy SPY in a TUXEDO who shoots a GUN! Ladies, you desperately long to be his soon-to-be-dead semen-receptacle. See? Marketing.

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Invent Impossible Female Beauty Standards

Then sell them the cure! Ozempic, infra-red masks, acrylic nails, Botox, laminated eyebrows, butt implants, chin augmentation, individual lashes, hairline reshaping, the scope is ever-expanding! No trend is too absurd to be monetised – keeping the gals insecure, skinny AND spending is a win-win-win! Don’t worry, men can still be regular human shape/size/colour, but organisation higher-ups have issued a warning to Nicholas Galitzine in recent months.

Convince Women They’re Empowered

If you ever find yourself in a tight spot re: your membership with a pre-menstrual/peri-menopausal/ hysterical/hormonal/shrewish/nagging woman, remind them that the Patriarchy doesn’t even exist as women are EMPOWERED. You have the vote! You have a football team! You’re a girlboss! The future is female! Give ‘em hell, girlfriend! You look stressed, hun – have you considered a nice relaxing buccal fat removal or facial needling session?

Anna Leong Brophy: Born Sexy Yesterday is running at Pleasance Courtyard (Below) from Aug 5-30th (except 19th) at 17:40. Tickets here