“Whilst I have been busy prancing away, my family have been inventing and discovering things that have changed and even saved countless people’s lives! So here I am to prove that even though they may have achieved all these things…we are exactly the same!”

“While other kids were freely collecting CDs and watching MTV, I was building a mental list. Nothing makes something more appealing than telling a child they absolutely cannot have it.”

“Screw what anyone else is doing – do what you want, who you want and how you want to do it. This is your Edinburgh Fringe and that's your PREROGATIVE”

“Look at the world now. Led by sociopaths. Men at the peak of their mediocrity, but power hungry. And two of the great, aged fulcrums we hinge that power on are Patriotism and God. Why? Because both still hold power.”

“Most people don’t even know they ate their twin. Their parents never think to tell them. I’ve discovered that there is an epidemic of twin eaters on the comedy circuit: Roger O’Sullivan, Katie Norris, and Ted Hill to name and shame them.”

Caleb Hearon said: ‘All comedians secretly want to be singer-songwriters.’ I have often said that creating my solo show was my way of coming out as someone who wanted to be comedian

“They're just singer-songwriters trying to make their art. Their voices are so powerful they move people to tears and madness. It's not the Sirens' fault if audiences are losing their minds.”

“Having up to that point been just a regular organic human, Bob Dylan had his internal organs and central nervous system replaced by electronic circuitry at great expense to both himself and the US national grid.”

“You think you fancy them when they are doing their talent, then you meet them and realise it was only their talent you liked and you don’t actually want them to show you any tricks with their wand. “

Harp-playing comedian Sam Hickman has everybody beat when it comes to unwieldy props….

Ian Lockwood is bringing The Farewell Tour to Edinburgh Fringe, but that’s not all that’s going on. Something fishy is happening and our in-house, super serious investigative reporter is on the case…

Reuben Kaye returns to Edinburgh Fringe with ‘Live and Intimidating’ and ‘The Kaye Hole’. Here, he tells the story of how he found out he had ADHD.

A round up of some of LMAOnaise’s favourite comedy shows of 2023

Sophie Zucker is making her Edinburgh Fringe debut with Sophie Sucks Face, a one-woman musical about love, death, and incest. She’s not personally into incest, but she’s got some reasons why cousin-dating might not be such a terrible idea

Proud, gay comedian, Simon David provides his positive 10 step guide for anyone bringing a show to the world’s best arts festival

Fantasy Fringe: Leila Navabi reports on the renewed festival, where it’s all about bangs.