Amelia Hamilton: I have a confession. I’m a rapper and I fancy magicians
Fringe Magic
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Fringe Magic 〰️
Image: Rebecca Need-Menear
It’s time for Edinburgh Fringe 2025, and with it, our annual feature series! This year, we’re celebrating the special, unique Fringe moments — the ones that feel like pure MAGIC…
By Amelia Hamilton
We all have secrets. Inner conflicts. Guilty pleasures we’d rather not share. Here’s mine: I fancy magicians.
I know, I’m a rapper. I should be attracted to money, cars, fame. However, the tricks I am into are distinctly different.
I first knew I had this affliction when I saw Derren Brown on TV. Magicians, mentalists and illusionists are completely in control. Power – what could be more attractive? (Don’t worry this has been discussed with a mental health professional.) I bought all Derren’s books and tried to learn as much as I could. I tried to hypnotise my sister. I slightly succeeded in hypnotising my sister and was subsequently banned from trying to hypnotise my sister. PSA: Leave it to the professionals, kids.
But my love for magicians did not wane. I eventually got to see Derren Brown live. And look, I am not proud of this, but I did rugby tackle three rows of children to grab a frisbee mid-air knowing I’d get to go on stage and be close to him. And not only was I close. Friends, he touched me. He read my mind and knew what I was thinking – well, luckily not everything…
My closest confidants are aware of this hidden desire. Luckily they don’t judge me. (Who am I kidding, they judge me frequently and vocally but support me nonetheless.) So much so that for my birthday in 2019 my friend bought us tickets to see The Illusionists. A group of 10 male magicians on stage for two hours. It’s the sexiest version of Magic Mike; forget the naked grinding, I wanna see a man who was bullied as a child prove his worth by making some pigeons appear.
Unfortunately, I learnt this attraction does not translate very well to real life. I have met magicians and realised the desire I experience is a classic case of the phenomenon my friends and I invented: a toner. A toner = A talent boner. You think you fancy them when they are doing their talent, then you meet them and realise it was only their talent you liked and you don’t actually want them to show you any tricks with their wand.
I must extend sincere apologies to the men magicians who thought they had a chance. Particular shout out to one magician at uni. He was performing at an event one night and I watched him for hours. When everyone went to dance I was transfixed by this man’s Rubik’s cubes (not a euphemism). I was so into it he ended up teaching me some tricks and I became his assistant for the rest of the evening, a sight that made my friends confused, amused and ashamed in equal measure. When the night ended he wheeled his entire magic cabinet (again not a euphemism) back to my halls just for me to say, “Good night, I really was only into the magic.”
I have wrestled with going public with this and I think, in the process of writing this, I have come to regret it. This article will self-destruct in 10 seconds and I will never mention it again. I’m Amelia, I’m a rapper and YOU WILL tell people that I fancy Channing Tatum over Penn and Teller please. I’ve got a reputation to maintain.
Amelia Hamilton’s show Forget Me Not is running at Pleasance Courtyard (Attic) from July 30th–August 24th (except 11). Tickets here
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