Pedro Leandro: Grown-up art isn’t about magic, lasers or planet bleep bloop, it’s about divorce
Fringe Magic
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Fringe Magic 〰️
It’s time for Edinburgh Fringe 2025, and with it, our annual feature series! This year, we’re celebrating the special, unique Fringe moments — the ones that feel like pure MAGIC…
By Pedro Leandro
In these final weeks leading up to the Fringe, I am going to be working tirelessly to bring you the best possible version of my soon-to-be-era-defining-smash-hit show.
But what about you, my soon-to-be devoted-nay-obsessive fans? What can you do to prepare yourself for the Fringe?
You could practice by drinking three pints of truly awful beer by lunchtime then sitting in the hottest basement you’ve ever been in and watching a student version of King Lear set in Croydon.
But the most important way to prepare oneself as an audience member is to practice discernment. Fran Leibowitz said: “a very discerning audience is as important to the culture as artists.” She may have said it in the context of mourning the loss of a generation of passionate audiences due to the AIDS pandemic, but I don’t think she’d mind me, a fellow wit, borrowing it for an equally important cause.
Watch a film. Decide if it’s good or bad. If it’s high or low. If it’s for adults or for children. You may be asking yourself: should art be judged and categorised in this way? Yes. Is there even an objective truth? Of course. How can you be sure that your opinion is correct? Easy: you must ask me.
You may sometimes be surprised by my pronouncements, but they are sadly final and irreversible. Clueless is good. 10 Things I Hate About You is bad. Love Actually is high. Inception is low. Films and TV shows about divorce are for adults. Films and TV shows about planet bleep bloop are for children.
Let’s break that last one down: what do I mean when I say “films about planet bleep bloop”? I mean films about evil emperors, films about laser messiahs with robot mascots. And am I saying that those films are bad? Not necessarily. And am I saying that only children are allowed to watch them? Also not necessarily.
What I am simply saying is that if a film or TV show involves spaceships or fantastical beasts, they probably do not belong in the same category as a film or TV show that involves losing one’s rent controlled apartment or finding it difficult to conceive.
You are allowed to enjoy anything that you enjoy (you’re welcome). What you are not allowed to do is categorise things wrongly. Don’t confuse things. Keep it simple. Is she a contemporary dancer who never quite managed to break through? That’s for adults. Can he speak to snakes? That one’s for children.
Let’s make it harder. Is he leading a socialist rebellion against an oppressive imperialist power? Hmm. Is he put in prison but then orchestrates a mass breakout that demonstrates that this imperialist power isn’t unbeatable? That perhaps with determination and heart, we can find a way toward freedom from enslavement? Sounds grown-up, right?
But what if I told you that his best friend is a cute little robot? What if I told you that he then goes to a planet (need I say more) that is ostensibly France and leads a rebellion of ostensibly French people but they don’t speak French, they speak a gibberish version of French so you get these amazing French actors doing wonderful French acting but the actual sounds that are coming out of their mouths are a nine year old’s idea of what French sounds like: an impassioned revolutionary speech that goes “FAFAFAREUREU RATULEREUH FEFEFEUH!!”
Nice try, TV show. You almost had us fooled. But you are, you have always been, for children.
“But some planet bleep bloop films actually are about divorce” I hear you say. “There is magic in a metaphor. Where is your sense of wonder? Are you against imagination? Are you anti-fiction? Where does it stop? Anything made up is bad? At first you just came across snobbish but I’m now realising you may also be stupid.”
And all I would say about that is…Wow, you’re screaming. Please calm down, you’re being homophobic.
Final example: is he a queer raconteur who takes you through queer psychological theory and shines a humorous light on gay dating and father-son relationships? Now that’s more straightforward. Is his best friend a llama? No. Does he drive around in a space shuttle at the speed of light? Also no. What’s his name? Is it Bleepbop Leemy? No, it’s Pedro Leandro.
Pedro Leandro: Soft Animal is running from July 30th-August 24th, 8:10pm, at the Pleasance Courtyard (Bunker 2). Tickets here
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