Bella Hull: 4 spells that won’t work but are better than texting your ex-boyfriend
Fringe Magic
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Fringe Magic 〰️
Image: Rebecca Need-Menear
It’s time for Edinburgh Fringe 2025, and with it, our annual feature series! This year, we’re celebrating the special, unique Fringe moments — the ones that feel like pure MAGIC…
By Bella Hull
I hate it when people announce that they don’t believe in magic, and then give you a face like they’ve won. What are your winnings? Walking around Dalston with a vague sense of dread? Trying to unsubscribe from emails from Next while remembering there’s nothing after you die? You’re not better than me. Buy a rose quartz and put it under your pillow, you pedantic coward. The moon is real. Someone made up Tottenham Hotspurs.
I recently became single for the first time in seven years. It taught me that you are only ever one bad life event away from paying a woman called Pauline to read you your angel cards on Zoom. She was definitely not well mentally and I think she spent the money on feathers instead of rent. But feminism is about choice, and angel investments take all forms.
If you’re on the edge, here are four ideas for magic spells that you can do from the safety of your own home:
Fill a gü ramekin with cheap salt and talk to it about your attachment style. The salt will absorb whatever happened in your childhood. Flush it down the toilet.
Write the memories that haunt you down on toilet paper. Then write an eviction notice to them, telling them they have 2 hours to leave. Sign it ‘Landlord of Your Soul’. Flush it down the toilet.
Get the old takeaway menus you keep behind your microwave and light them on fire to symbolise a rebirth of a newly pure body. Inhale the fumes as deeply as you can. Throw what’s left out the window.
Collect all the gum wrappers, empty red bull cans and dried eye contacts that live down the side of your bed and stick them together in a web-like formation. This will act as a magnet for negativity while you sleep.
Bella Hull: Doctors Hate Her is at Monkey Barrel (Hive 2) from July 31st-August 24th, 1:55pm. Tickets here
Read more about Edinburgh Fringe 2025:
