Justina Seselskaite: How to pretend you’ve seen every Fringe show without seeing any

Justina Seselskaite has been lying about reading Ulysses since 2012. That’s created some pretty transferrable skills, so much so that she’s qualified to tell you how to bluff your way through any Fringe. Here are her tips.

Has this ever happened to you? You’re at a Fringe. Everyone’s raving about that one show that changed their life, and you’re just trying to remember if you’ve eaten today. You spent your ticket budget on one overpriced oat latte and a wrap. You’re tired. You’re broke. You’re Fringe-ing.

And someone turns to you and says: “You saw that mind-blowing one-person piece about identity, right?!” And your mouth says: “Yes, of course.” But your soul says: “No, I was in the hotel room eating Hula Hoops and worrying about selling tickets to my show”

We’ve all been there. Right? Right?!

In May, the streets will be full of comedians, clowns, drag artists, actors, aerialists, and those mysterious beings who somehow manage to see 17 shows a day and still have time to host a podcast. It’s Brighton Fringe time, and I’m exhausted in advance.

In their honour – and yours – here’s your cheat sheet for blabbing like a pro while secretly promising yourself to see as many shows as your schedule allows. If you can fake your way through Proust, you can fake your way through the Fringe. Because let’s be honest: Fringe isn’t about pretending to care about art – it’s about actually showing up for it.

1. Speak Fluent Fringe talk

Learn the lingo, and you’ll be holding court at the venue bar in no time.

Essential buzzwords:

“Genre-defying” – You don’t know what it was. But you felt it.
“Bold debut” – You’re rooting for them, even if you have no idea who they are.
“Really explored the form” – Did they? You’ll never know. But it sounds smart.
“High-concept but accessible” – You want people to know you got it.

Extra points if you say any of these while nodding thoughtfully into a reusable coffee cup.

2. Emotional Vagueness = Cultural Authority

Didn’t see the show? Doesn’t matter. Can you feel what the show might have been about? That’s all you need. Try these:

“It stayed with me, actually. “
“It just… held a mirror up to everything, you know?”
“I’m still processing it. Honestly.”
“I loved the way it deconstructed the concept of theatre itself.”

The trick is to sound sincere and final! You would love to talk about the play just a bit more but honestly even thinking about it is making you feel a bit emotional, no one will ask follow-up questions, and if they do ask a question about them, guaranteed distraction.

3. Nail the ‘Fringe Fatigue’ Look

By week two, you don’t need to say a word. Just look Fringe-exhausted and watch the respect roll in.

Costume checklist:

Slightly crumpled tote bag full of flyers.
Half-drunk coffee in a reusable cup.
Slight bags under your eyes.

Finish with a deep sigh and the line: “It’s just been a lot this year.”

Everyone will nod solemnly. You’ve passed the vibe check.

But Let’s Be Real: Just Go See Stuff

Here’s the truth: the best way to talk about shows… is to see them.

Go to things. Go to weird things. Go to tiny things. Go to something that sounds like a mistake and turns out to be art. Watch someone yell about toast and feel something. Let yourself be surprised, bored, moved, annoyed and overjoyed!

Fringe is magic. And magic only happens if you’re in the room.

So yes, use these tips. Bluff your way through the awkward bits. But don’t stop there. See the shows. Support the artists. Be part of the mess, the brilliance, and the beautiful chaos of it all.

Justina Seselskaite is at Brighton Fringe with her show Settled, on May 30th, 8pm, at Jollies. Tickets here

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